Three Strikes

sambucus lion

Aw, it's like the three bears, except instead of porridge, they're all having acid for breakfast.

France: A Nightmare

I was in a bookshop the other day, casually browsing the children's section, when I came across A Lion in Paris by Beatrice Alemagna. The cover was deeply promising:

Naturally, I went to investigate. And man was it worth it:

Each page I flipped through was more horrifying than the last:

Early on the author decided she shouldn't be constrained by the "typical" features of a lion:

Soon she dispensed with looking like a lion entirely:

It's a bear!

It's a mouse!

It's a ... toad?

Finally, it lost all connection to the natural world:

And, in a chilling finale, we were left with this image:

NO, GET THAT CHILD AWAY FROM IT. IT'S A MONSTER.

I didn't buy the book, but frankly I should have. This is a work of utter majesty.

100 Posts!!

I started this blog almost 3 years ago and through laziness and inattention, it's taken that long to finally hit 100 posts! WHOO

Even more miraculously, some people out there have actually started looking at this thing, so I've also recently hit 25,000 pageviews! DOUBLE WHOO

I wanted to celebrate with something really special, so I took 30 whole seconds to google "lion fireworks" - and you know what? It gave me some pretty crappy lions, because the world is a magical, bountiful place:

Awful!

Atrocious!

Nauseatingly bad!

Thanks to everyone who reads this blog, and hey! Maybe drop by in the comments and tell me why - I genuinely have no idea where you all came from!

And remember - find a bad lion, submit a bad lion: badlions.submission@gmail.com

The Medieval Period Was Obviously a Confusing Time

Another illuminated manuscript, another lion that's smaller than a lap dog. Someone explained to these monks that a lion is a TYPE of cat, not JUST a cat, right?

It's smaller than the DUCKS. And the look on its face says it knows it, too.