Blatant National Denigration

In case you were wondering if there was a particular demographic that truly failed at lions:

It’s the French. The French sucks at lions.

Look at this thing:

It’s the marshmallow version of a lion. You know, when you accidentally set them on fire? And little bits start to turn to char?

That’s what’s cuddling with that knight right there.

I'm Becoming a Bit Obsessive

It's gotten to the point where I look for bad lions everywhere. But to be fair, they are EVERYWHERE.

Walking down the street the other day, I saw this:

So far, so good, right? I mean, goodness only knows why its tongue is hanging out, but it looks okay.

But then you see it from the front:

Aaaand, it's a bulldog.

*sigh*

And you were doing so well.

I Want This in my Home

Today’s submission comes from my friend Stephanie, who doesn’t even know I have this blog.

She just knows the kind of stuff I’m into.

(And proud of it).

I know you’ve all been longing for some more taxidermy, so here you go:

Via Slightly Warped


It’s a masterpiece, right? Everything about it is amazing.

It’s hard to say what I love most. The crazy eyes? The Technicolor gore?

Or that f**cked up rabbit, just watching it all go down.

Harry Potter Movie-Tie Part II: Revenge of the Lions

So, I know the rampant lion of heraldry is stylized, but there is a difference between ‘stylized’ and what’s happening below:

Ah, the noble snake-lion-monster of the Gryffindor house.

Ah, the noble marshmallow lion of the Gryffindor house breakfast cereal.

Ah, the noble blob of mustard in a field of ketchup left on the Gryffindor house table after a meal.


Now, has everyone seen the last movie/read the book? (If you haven’t, I don’t care, you’ve had three years to do so.)

We all remember the dramatic scene in the Room of Requirement, when the Slytherins have conjured fire-monsters, representing each house mascot? Who could forget the terrifying fire-lion?

Terrifying.


And of course, everyone remembers that scene where Harry is transfigured into an anthropomorphized lion in full Hogwarts uniform:

Oh wait, there wasn’t a scene like that? Well, then the artist is just a little screwed up.

Harry Potter Movie Tie-In!

Up to this point, I’ve avoided making fun of fanart on this blog, because if the professionals can’t get lions right, why should I expect the amateurs to?

I mean, as we’ve established, drawing lions is HARD. You can be a ‘master’ and still not get them right.

But how about something easy? Maybe you’re not that familiar with lions, but surely you can copy a simple line drawing that’s right in front of you?

So, in honor of the last HP movie, I give you: Gryffindor House Crests.

Here’s the original upon which all the rest are based:

I’ll admit, there’s not a lot to work with here. Rather than ‘traditional heraldic imagery’ they decided to go with ‘cuddly plush toy.’ But, you know, fine. Whatever flies your broom, and all that.

So now, on to the fanart:

This one actually looks fiercer looking than the original, so points for that.

This one stuck with the ‘cuddly toy’ motif, but made the decision to give it a PIERCING DEMON EYE. Because that’s what most cuddly toys are missing.

The Gryffindor Lion: now a different race!

(Also, please try to imagine how those legs might meet up with that torso, if the banner wasn’t there. Special, right?)

The Gryffindor lion goes to a rave!

The Gryffindor lion does the Macarena!

And finally, what might be my absolute favorite:

I only wish I had a bigger image.

Stay tuned, because there’s more Harry Potter coming your way.

And if you think it’s mean to make fun of fans' drawings, let me just note that these are the kind of people who do this, and label it a “hippogrif” [sic]:

Call it what you want, but that, good sir, is a LLAMA.

Not a Bad Lion

Having had this blog for several months now, I feel I’ve earned the right to deviate from the format slightly.

And by “slightly” I mean “the exact opposite of what this blog purports to be about.” Because these are AWESOME lions.

This video contains a very cute boy, with a very cute accent, making out with some very cute lion cubs.

It’s like everything I like in the world.



Seriously, why am I not this guy? Or at least married to him?

Lions: An Art Lesson

In an effort to be helpful, after all the mocking, I thought I’d put together a little tutorial for future lion artists.

Tip #1:

LIONS ARE CATS.

You know, cats?

Kitties?

Meow, meow?

They are not:

Dogs

Monkeys

Whatever the hell this is. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?