Nothing Like the Wind in your Mane

Why does this lion's expression look so familiar?

Oh, that's right.

It's Not Just Singapore

These babies feature on a historic boat housed at the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich, England:

Sure, from the front these are just some gold lions in the throes of unspeakable agony.

But from the back?

MERLIONS.

Cats are notorious for hating water, so I have some serious questions about how this is supposed to work. If you’ve ever bathed a cat, you know what I’m talking about.

He will kill you in your sleep.

"Merlion"? Really?

When I started this blog, I googled “bad lions” and found this:

Get it? It’s a SEA LION. Ha!

I saved the picture to my computer and thought nothing more of it.

Until I realized, this is a thing.

In Singapore, at least.

The Rare Austrian Lion

Seen here in its native habitat (Hofburg Palace, Vienna), the Austrian Lion is noted for its long-flowing feminine locks, monkey-like ears, and penchant for wearing crown jewels.

It is most easily recognized, however, by its inexplicably black tongue, thrust out at passersby in an unmistakably lewd gesture.

It is not known for its social skills.

Everything About This is Wrong

Seriously. What in the actual hell?

I so desperately wish I had a picture of the front of this figurine, because that face is clearly very, very special. It is, once again, a dude’s face, but with a horsey snout and eyeliner. I really wish artists would stop giving cats people faces. A cat with a person face is not a lion, it’s a manticore (or, you know, “a nightmare, make it stop”).

And then, why is the head enormous compared to the teensy body? Is it to support the weight of those dramatic black eyebrows that dude-cat is sporting? And why didn’t anyone teach him to match his foundation to his actual skin tone?

Statuary: Adding a third dimension is HARD

I realize that sculpture is a difficult art form, but I’m a bit confused by what, exactly, is being represented by these lions:

I was pretty sure that lions were meant to symbolize nobility and bravery, not terror and depression.

Instead of being awed, I just want to give these two a hug.

And We're Back!

There is literally nothing about this that says "lion" to me, except for the word "lion" printed above its head.

Thanks for the hint, book cover designer.