Maybe One of You Can Explain This to Me

Most of the time, I feel like I have an idea of what went wrong in the bad lions I post.  In the ones created before the 20th century, the answer is obvious: they'd never seen a lion.

But in this case?

I have absolutely no idea how this happened.

Thanks for the submission, Will!

Over More Than Thirty Years, You'd Think He'd Improve

Albrecht Durer has popped up on this site already, and I’ll warn you now that he’s going to show up again. Because this guy practically made a career of bad lions.

 How do I know that? Because I just went through 844 images of his work.

And here’s what I’ve learned:

 Things Albrecht Durer can’t draw:

 1.  Lions
 2.  Horses
 3.  Women’s buttocks (the guy had some exceptionally strange ideas about female anatomy. I guess he
      didn't get out much).

 Things Albrecht Durer could draw:

 1.  Birds
 2.  Rabbits
 3.  Rhinoceroses (?!)

 And, finally, things Albrecht Durer could draw, but shouldn’t:

 1. Nude self portraits.

  Seriously.

 Anyway, here’s a lion:

Albrecht Durer, Penitent Jerome, 1494
I mean, I GUESS.

Shapes Found in Nature

Ah, the Great Rectangular Lion of the savannas.

A noble, if unwieldy, breed.

Bad Lion...Tattoo?!

Well, that seems like a solid life decision.

A Guide to Lion Taxidermy

Yes:

No:

Yes:

No:

Yes:

No:

OMG, NO.

You know what? I give up.

Nothing Like the Wind in your Mane

Why does this lion's expression look so familiar?

Oh, that's right.

It's Not Just Singapore

These babies feature on a historic boat housed at the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich, England:

Sure, from the front these are just some gold lions in the throes of unspeakable agony.

But from the back?

MERLIONS.

Cats are notorious for hating water, so I have some serious questions about how this is supposed to work. If you’ve ever bathed a cat, you know what I’m talking about.

He will kill you in your sleep.