Just Because it's Dead, Doesn't Mean it Has to be Disgusting

Taxidermy can be quite beautiful.

Qalqilya Zoo, Palenstine

But you wouldn't know it by looking at this thing.

Brace Yourselves, This One is a Doozy

I was actually looking for more taxidermal (taxidermic? these are both apparently the adjective form of 'taxidermy') lions (a perennial favorite around here), when I stumbled upon this:

via Dull Tool Dim Bulb

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

What? Why? How? Who?

This actually is taxidermy, because (again, brace yourselves), that's REAL SKIN up there.

From Dull Tool Dim Bulb:

"As much taxidermy as folk art, this terrifying lion must have certainly been part of a menagerie, as whoever made him was magnificently talented.  Wooden teeth, fake eyes, an actual animal skin around a internal frame of unknown material.  The mane is gone, long gone, and replaced with another piece of animal skin tacked on with brads.  Extraordinary!  The entire body is hand-stitched, possibly with sinew...and the lion is ten inches long."

This thing is from the nineteenth century, a time when people were genuinely weirder than they are now. Just, completely screwed up. 

Here, have another angle:

The most important thing is that you don't think about this lion as you're falling asleep tonight...

Oh, China

Dear Luohe Zoo,

You should know this kind of thing only works on Virginians:

cnn.com

It's sad that I can say this, but this isn't even the most lion-like dog we've seen on this blog:

Best part of the story? "Visitors to Luohe zoo noticed ruse when dog started barking."

Those are some eagle-eyed (eared?) patrons. The zoo never stood a chance.

Thanks for the tip, Brian and Will!

Yvain 4: Wrath of Yvain

It's really not a good sign when the lion on your shield is more realistic than the ACTUAL LION.

BONUS: Nerdy commentary from a reader:

"Listen, if you want to do movie title names for Yvain, though, it might interest you to know that the moon which the death star nearly destroys in Star Wars A New Hope is called 'Yavin 4'

JUST SAYING."

Frankly, I don't know what to do with that information except just post it here. 

Bad Lions in Every Medium!

Now, I'm not claiming I could crochet anything - let alone a 9 m lion - worth a damn.

Nevertheless, these lions are a bit ... bad, aren't they?

Shauna Richardson, Lionheart

The crochet work is absolutely beautiful, but they look like a bunch of teenagers whose mom just found pot in their sock drawer.

Gulp

It's Called Google, People

Dear contemporary lion artists:

Open browser. Type "lion" into search bar. Draw what you see.

Seriously, you have no excuse for this crap:

Pull it together, people.

Love,
BadLions

(Sorry it's blurry, but let's be fair: a clearer image wouldn't improve the situation at all).

Thanks for the submission, Will and Hannah!

Lions: Secretly Child's Play?

One excuse for the myriad of bad lions in art is that many of the (classical) painters had never seen a lion before. However, I think there's another reason so many lions are crap: the artists take advantage of the fact that no matter how bad a lion is, it is still recognizable.

Anyone who's played charades or draw something knows this. You can draw a dog and have people guessing "cow!" "goat!" "alligator!" endlessly, but lions have a handy mane that makes them instantly recognizable, no matter how many of the other features are completely fucked.

Case in point: I have witnessed a two year old easily recognize this as a lion:

Illustration from The Big Orange Splot, by Daniel Manus Pinkwater.

More importantly, first she recognized THIS as a lion:

So I guess what I'm saying is that lion artists are mostly both bad AND lazy.