Bad Lions in Every Medium!

Now, I'm not claiming I could crochet anything - let alone a 9 m lion - worth a damn.

Nevertheless, these lions are a bit ... bad, aren't they?

Shauna Richardson, Lionheart

The crochet work is absolutely beautiful, but they look like a bunch of teenagers whose mom just found pot in their sock drawer.

Gulp

It's Called Google, People

Dear contemporary lion artists:

Open browser. Type "lion" into search bar. Draw what you see.

Seriously, you have no excuse for this crap:

Pull it together, people.

Love,
BadLions

(Sorry it's blurry, but let's be fair: a clearer image wouldn't improve the situation at all).

Thanks for the submission, Will and Hannah!

Lions: Secretly Child's Play?

One excuse for the myriad of bad lions in art is that many of the (classical) painters had never seen a lion before. However, I think there's another reason so many lions are crap: the artists take advantage of the fact that no matter how bad a lion is, it is still recognizable.

Anyone who's played charades or draw something knows this. You can draw a dog and have people guessing "cow!" "goat!" "alligator!" endlessly, but lions have a handy mane that makes them instantly recognizable, no matter how many of the other features are completely fucked.

Case in point: I have witnessed a two year old easily recognize this as a lion:

Illustration from The Big Orange Splot, by Daniel Manus Pinkwater.

More importantly, first she recognized THIS as a lion:

So I guess what I'm saying is that lion artists are mostly both bad AND lazy.

A Face Even a Mother Wouldn't Love

Even the lion is disgusted by how bad he is.

Thanks for the submission, Joanne!

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children?

The only thing I can say is...

At least he's happy?


Thanks to Alice for the submission! Remember, if you have a bad lion, you can send it in to badlions.submissions@gmail.com.

We're Back

Sorry for the horrible lull in posting. To make up for it, have this great lion:

If by "great" I mean "stressed, possibly drug-addled, with wings growing out of his forearms".

This is the lion version of that homeless dude who stands on the corner muttering about government probes in his brain.

Thanks to Maria for the submission!

I Can Only Hope You Were Drunk

No, man. Just. No.